Faith = Tension

Faith is full of tension—this holy, uncomfortable, stretching tension. That’s something that’s settled more deeply into my soul the more I’ve walked with God. And if you’ve ever wrestled with tough theological questions, you know exactly what I mean.

Why are these questions so tough? For starters, the Bible isn’t always as clear as we’d like. We don’t always receive such specific guidelines (how to date, what job to choose, what political party to align with…) Sometimes, it even seems to contradict itself. And let’s be honest—sometimes, we just don’t like the answers we find. It’s no wonder tough questions bring tension!

Faith Means Living in the Tension

We crave clear-cut answers, but faith isn’t about certainty. It’s about trust. And trust thrives and even grows in tension. Muscles grow under tension, tightropes need tension for an acrobat to walk across, and relationships deepen through tough conversations. The same goes for faith!

I used to think (or maybe really hoped…) that faith meant having everything figured out eventually. But even the greatest theologians in history never stopped asking questions. And if they didn’t have all the answers, why should we? I hope we feel the RELIEF of knowing the our spiritual mothers and fathers lived to the end of their lives holding this tension in their faith.

We SHOULD Ask Questions

In fact, you should. The church should be the safest place for tough conversations. If you’ve ever been made to feel ashamed for questioning your faith, I’m so sorry.

Even biblical heroes wrestled with God. David cried out in frustration (Psalm 13:2), Abraham questioned divine justice (Genesis 18:23), and Jeremiah asked why the wicked prosper (Jeremiah 12:1). Jesus himself often responded to questions with more questions—pushing people to think deeper rather than just giving easy answers.

Bring Your Questions to God

The word “theology” means the study of God. It comes from 2 Greek words: Theos & Logos.

Theos = God

Logos = the LIVING and ACTIVE word– something that may begin as speech and then manifests into reality. Not just the will of God, but the will and activity of God. And in the Prologue of John chapter 1, we are told that Jesus IS THE LOGOS, He is the Word of God.

Jesus has quite literally INSERTED Himself into the study of Himself.

He WANTS to be involved in our questioning! We cannot (or really, SHOULD NOT) study about God without involving Him. God welcomes our questions. He delights in them. Jeremiah 33:3 tells us, “Call to me and I will answer you,” and James 1:5 says He gives wisdom generously.

At the end of the day, faith isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about drawing closer to God. We’re invited into the mystery, to wrestle, to wonder, and to trust that He’s got us, even when we don’t have everything figured out. And honestly? That comes as such relief to me today.

Near Year, New Hope?

It’s a new year! It’s interesting how the change of one number– 2024 to 2025— brings us a sense of hope and expectancy every year. We create a moment to pause, refresh, and dream for what could come. Maybe you have already made your New Years resolutions have been scouring Booking.com for trip ideas!

We always start off the new year at ICB in 2 weeks of Prayer & Fasting— setting aside time and physical needs to hear from the Lord. We draw close in hopeful anticipation that He will also come close to us. We pray, ask, and wait for a “word of the year” or specific direction for where He is taking us. What plans do you have for me, Lord? What exciting moments will happen this year? Our anthem is the verse we know all too well (usually printed on mugs and corny t-shirt) Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

But what about those of us who cannot see a future and a hope? …the ones who have had their teeth kicked in repeatedly this past year? If you have not yet found yourself in a place of hope deferred, friend, your moment will come at some point. You’ll know it when you slowly begin to begrudge the always-optimistic worship songs (where has lament gone?). You’ll understand you are ‘there’ when talk of “hope & a future” is almost heard in a mocking tone. It’s not a fun place. It’s not a season you can intellectualize yourself out of. When all feels lost– who cares about a future?

It is in this moment of hope deferred, of grief, that we can actually know God most intimately. When nothing else satisfies or fills us, when we cannot place any of our hope in a future, then the only place left is on our every-present, ever-close, ever- loving God. After all, God said through the prophet Jeremiah a few verses later “In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” That is a guarantee. He is “findable”. He is close.

If you are walking through a season of hopelessness and fear… if you find yourself not able to dream about a future… then I encourage you place your hope not on a future right now, but on the person of Jesus. Dream OF Him, so that one day soon after slowly healing with your Father, you may dream WITH Him.

If you were to ask me for my New Years Resolutions, echoing Peter’s words in Acts 3:6 “I have nothing to give you. But I’ll give you what I have.” And what I have is an unwavering hope in the person and presence of Jesus. 

Happy New Year from our Team!

Hello everyone! What an amazing year it has been at ICB! I just wanted to say a quick Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our team. Here’s a picture we snapped at our Christmas Party– MY has our team grown over the years. It was also wonderful to have my parents be in attendance as well. Praying the start of your new year has been full of hope!

T-shirts

Who does need a new t-shirt? Help me continue to raise funds for the ministry here in Spain by buying a cool, new t-shirt! They are very soft and [hopefully] stylish. Plus, they are an anthem you can carry into your own city.

PURCHASE HERE: https://awakenbarcelona.square.site/

REAL Opener

It was a delight and honor writing the opener for our REAL women’s conference! Over 180 women came out and heard a life-giving message from Dr. Alicia Britt Chole. Many who came were invited by friends, and don’t know Jesus. 17 LADIES gave their lives to Christ at the end of the conference!

Thank you for praying and interceding for these ladies!